Monday, February 18, 2013

A time for reflection

I should preface this post by saying that I am not particularly religious... I went to Sunday school when I was younger, made my communion and my conformation  but I haven't attended many organized religious services since starting college. That being said I still choose to participate in Lent. It was my favorite time of year to attend church when I was younger (my old parish did services in Latin) and the only time of year I still consider going to church now.  

Ash Wednesday was last week and while I didn't go to services I did set aside a little extra time for reflection. I will not be eating meat on Friday's for the next 40 days, and I have given up on Starbucks and buying junk food while out. I know this time of sacrifice is intended to encourage reflection and strengthen your spiritual relationship, but it ends up being an excellent time to break any bad habits (which I think requires a little extra self-reflection anyways).

I was doing really well until today (I know it's been less than a week, don't judge me) when I got done at work, drove down to school and realized I had forgotten to pack anything aside from a jar of soup in my lunch. No crackers, no veggies, no jar of trail mix in my car. I bought a bag if chips from the vending machine to eat in class and felt kind of guilty.

I realized that instead of taking the moment of reflection for what it was worth I made excuses and took the easy way out. And I've been doing that a lot to you all lately... When life gets busy this is one of the first things I push back. Then when I do start to post again I try to make excuses and justify my actions. But I'm missing  the point.

Life takes dedication, I'm in the field I am because I love my work. That means I have a dedication to studying and lesson planning and homework for class (okay maybe not that one!). I started this blog because I love to write, and cook, and take pictures, and share with others. That means I should be applying the same level of dedication here as I do to other aspects of my life, and if I'm not I'm doing everyone a disservice.

I realized this has gotten kind of deep and rambly, but mostly this is an apology. For not showing my dedication here as deeply as I do in the rest of my life. And as this Lenten season continues I plan to take this moment of reflection to heart and really start to show my dedication.

All of you out there who read this, thank you, and I promise a new and brighter start to tomorrow.

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